Grapes
I chose to write this treatise on grapes because I'm a wee bit unhappy.
You see, since Katrina, New Orleans hasn't been quite the same with the breadth of grocery stores that inhabit other cities. We have pretty much three big ones - WalMart (Superstore), Winn Dixie and Whole Foods - all in order of price from low to high (inversely correlated, some might say, with quality).
The other day I had a hankering for grapes. Not like a "I would like a grape" type hankering, but a "I need a grape now" type hankering. I'm just strange like that sometimes.
So, in my obsession for "good grape hunting", I popped into the closest grocery store I could find. Which was a Whole Foods. This was my first foray into a Whole Foods here in New Orleans. I had been warned that organic foods cost a lot more - but I pooh-poohed the idea. How bad could it be?
Like a lamb headed for slaughter, I moseyed over to the fruits section. There was no price tag for the grapes (bad omen in hindsight), but I had to have them, so I bought them on impulse.
I ate some grapes in the car on the way home. They were really, really good. Sweet and crunchy - fresh as if I'd just picked them from the vineyard.
When I got home and looked at the receipt (I had bought a bunch of other groceries as well to go with the grapes), I was astonished to find that my grapes cost more than the 2 lbs of boneless, skinless chicken breasts that I had popped into my basket. My juicy, sweet, crunchy grapes cost a delectable $8. $8.
What did the organic farmers do with these things - water them with artesian water and feed them with poo from endangered species?
I counted the number of grapes I had left in the bunch, added the dozen or so that I had snacked on on the way home, and the grand total came to 61. In case you don't have your calculators handy, that comes up to 13 cents per grape. 13 cents... per grape.
After this revelation, I chewed each grape carefully, taking tiny nips of the grape and savoring each little morsel. I let the grape essence linger on my tongue for a long time before taking the next grape ration out of the bag. This was the most organic grape experience I have ever had. And I still, to this day, think about those delicious little grapes from the fancy-schmansy grocery store.
Now I'm off to the WalMart to get me a $3 jumbo bag of "grapes".
You see, since Katrina, New Orleans hasn't been quite the same with the breadth of grocery stores that inhabit other cities. We have pretty much three big ones - WalMart (Superstore), Winn Dixie and Whole Foods - all in order of price from low to high (inversely correlated, some might say, with quality).
The other day I had a hankering for grapes. Not like a "I would like a grape" type hankering, but a "I need a grape now" type hankering. I'm just strange like that sometimes.
So, in my obsession for "good grape hunting", I popped into the closest grocery store I could find. Which was a Whole Foods. This was my first foray into a Whole Foods here in New Orleans. I had been warned that organic foods cost a lot more - but I pooh-poohed the idea. How bad could it be?
Like a lamb headed for slaughter, I moseyed over to the fruits section. There was no price tag for the grapes (bad omen in hindsight), but I had to have them, so I bought them on impulse.
I ate some grapes in the car on the way home. They were really, really good. Sweet and crunchy - fresh as if I'd just picked them from the vineyard.
When I got home and looked at the receipt (I had bought a bunch of other groceries as well to go with the grapes), I was astonished to find that my grapes cost more than the 2 lbs of boneless, skinless chicken breasts that I had popped into my basket. My juicy, sweet, crunchy grapes cost a delectable $8. $8.
What did the organic farmers do with these things - water them with artesian water and feed them with poo from endangered species?
I counted the number of grapes I had left in the bunch, added the dozen or so that I had snacked on on the way home, and the grand total came to 61. In case you don't have your calculators handy, that comes up to 13 cents per grape. 13 cents... per grape.
After this revelation, I chewed each grape carefully, taking tiny nips of the grape and savoring each little morsel. I let the grape essence linger on my tongue for a long time before taking the next grape ration out of the bag. This was the most organic grape experience I have ever had. And I still, to this day, think about those delicious little grapes from the fancy-schmansy grocery store.
Now I'm off to the WalMart to get me a $3 jumbo bag of "grapes".
posted by Phlings! | 9:55 PM
1 Comments:
Hey, no sour grapes I hope in the pack though, cos that would make each one even more 'rare and special'.
I have always said, these so called "organice products" ar ejust another way of drawing more money from the consumer... (",)
How are you doing otehrwsie huh?
Post a Comment
<< Home